The world today lives on social media.
Everyday you see the celebratory posts and photos of clean houses, makeup’d faces and happy kids all doctored by instagram. But what about the photos that don’t get taken? Or the posts that don’t get written. It’s easy to feel very alone in the real struggles of motherhood when all you ever see and hear about are everyone elses “perfect” moments!
It’s been a long 7 years. I have 3 kids and I’ll be 28 next month.
I never wear makeup, my everyday hairstyle includes twisting my dried out waist length, split ended hair up into a claw clip – most often unbrushed from the moment I get out of bed to the moment I return. I get sucked into TV dramas, wash dishes, fold clothes, and repeat myself endlessly to the point where I don’t even keep memories of what I’ve actually said vs thought anymore.
I don’t go out. I don’t sleep in on the weekends – or holidays and my kids don’t bring me breakfast in bed!
I have really challenging days where I feel like a complete failure as a parent! Sometimes my child will do something to a sibling that just blows my mind with frustration and disappointment and I will have no idea what to do about it!
I feel overwhelmed, exhausted, beaten and drained – not all the time, and not always all at the same time – but I do!
Am I doing it all wrong!?
Is there some secret perfect parenting class that I don’t know about?
EVERY parent has these moments!
Even the ones with perfectly clean houses every time you come over unannounced without a thing out of place, and beautifully make up’d faces and styled hair! Even the ones who seem to have extremely polite children in your brief iterations with them.
No child is 100% perfectly behaved to their parents liking 100% of the time. Any parent who tells you otherwise is lying! Parenting is hard, there will be good days, there will be bad days. There will be ok days and really really awful days!
Parenting is not a perfect science. There is no true blue method to raising perfect children – What is a perfect child anyways?! A child who doesn’t test boundaries? A child who roboticly obeys? If that’s what you want – get a trained dog!
Parenting is full of ups and downs.
When my daughter finally grasps a concept we’ve been discussing over and over and OVER for days or longer – that’s a winning moment for mom! When they clean their rooms Saturday morning before I even get up – that’s a win for mom! When they discover empathy and don’t have to be told to apologize – THAT’s a win for mom!
We have days where it seems like the house is in a constant screaming match – the kids aren’t getting along at all! Even with rooms at the opposite ends of the house, they still manage to carry on with an argument and you have to raise your own voice just to get their attention long enough to tell them they need alone time! These are the moments you’re pulling out your hair and can’t understand what you’ve done wrong!
There are other days, where it’s so quiet you wonder if they’re even there! They’re playing quietly together in the front yard with chalk, riding bikes or the older one’s reading to the younger one.
So when your son finally falls off the play structure in the very full park and all you can feel is a rush of embarrassment and the fear of every other parent there judging you as he screams (mostly from the shock), or has a bloody nose (because he’s super sensitive and just randomly gets them anyways) – don’t let their glares or shocked faces fool you. If there kid never made a mistake or got hurt, then they’re the ones doing something wrong – Your child just learned a valuable lesson!
What it really feels like to be a mom? It feels overwhelming, exhausting, challenging, disappointing, satisfying, exhilarating, thrilling and joyful – all at the same time!
Any parent who tells you otherwise is lying!
Thanks for reading 🙂