A lot of people – even my own husband – will say their spouse is their best friend. I personally find the statement to be rather cliché, and my husband has actually felt offended when I have not reciprocated this feeling.
…So now you’re thinking, well that’s never going to last… – but stay with me!
I think if your marriage is completely reliant on how close your friendship is – it is doomed to fail…
People are changing all the time!
We learn knew things with each interaction. Each success, failure, joyous, sad or stressful occasion – each moment in our life causes us to change and grow if even in the most subtle way.
If you aren’t growing, you aren’t living!
So why is my husband not my best friend?
Over the years I have made and lost many friends – even my best friends. I’m 29 years old and I’ve lived in 8 different cities that I can remember, and I remember 5 different ‘best friends’ – each from one of those separate places. Today, I don’t talk to any of them – I have one of them on Facebook, but she’s really just more of an acquaintance at this point in my life.
This reminds me of the poem “A Reason, A Season, or A Lifetime”.
Most friendships eventually reach a point where it is time to say goodbye and go our separate ways – usually for me, because someone moves away.
My husband is not my best friend though – he is my husband!
The passion can be overwhelming when you first find and marry your special someone, but at some point the honeymoon ends, life gets going and so does your focus.
We’ve been together nearly 10 years now, that many years – especially when you’ve barely gotten started in your adult life – is a lot of time to change and grow as an individual.
Between 20 and 30 years old, everyone has something going on that is life-changing or deciding. It is not always the same for everyone, but some likely events may include expanded education, career choosing or changing, babies and their life milestones, illnesses, deaths, buying of property, economy ups or downs….. This really can go on forever as each path carries different challenges and triumphs, but this first decade of responsible adulthood is very character building!
When you drift apart as friends, it’s usually not too hard to just say “hey, we’ve had our time, now it’s time to move on”.
I have no intention of saying goodbye to my husband!
When you’re married, you are sharing a promise of a whole life with another person…
It’s easy to end up wrapping your identity in your marriage, but it’s also OK to each focus on yourself to find your own separate identity once in a while.
My husband and I may drift away from one another emotionally sometimes, and our ‘friendship’ may not always be perfectly intact, but the difference from if we were ‘best friends’ instead of husband and wife, is we will ALWAYS find our way back to each other and we will never just walk away due to a periodical lack of connection!